Holding on to sin

Romans 3:23King James Version (KJV)

²³ For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;



This is my sin.
 I own my sin. My sin was against my wife, my own body and against God. I committed adultery against my wife. There is no excuse there is no logical reason, only that I sinned. I was being selfish and stupid.

I had allowed sin into my life. I felt I could deal with it. I confessed my sin to God and asked for forgiveness. I know he forgave me, but my sin involved others. I needed to confess to them and ask for their forgiveness also. 

By not dealing with my sin and trying to carry the burden myself and not trust God. I spent the next 28 years of my life self sabotaging, I wanted everyone to hate me, I felt I didn't deserve any goodness in my life and as a result I hindered myself and possibly my abilities. Only God knows what my life would have been like if I hadn't been so self destructive. 

When God started working in my life again and bringing people into my life that were there to help me. I found myself caught up in my head and not listening to my heart.

John 10:10
 
The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.




 I decided to act out in inappropriate ways, and as a result I insulted someone else whom God had put in my life. When they responded to me and let me know in a very straight forward but polite way that I was out of line. Immediately God convicted my heart.  I immediately dropped to my knees and begged God for forgiveness. I then realized how far sin had webbed its fingers into every facet of my life. Satan tried to steal my joy, tried to kill my marriage and tried to destroy friendships. 

 I then sought counsel and prayer.

 I came to realize I had to confess sin from 28 years prior. This was very difficult for me and it brought a lot of pain for the others involved. Forgiveness was granted but there will be a long process in rebuilding trust.